Day 5: "Can't see nothin' in front of me/Can't see nothin coming up behind. "

The wind kept me awake more than the group of lads who’d pitched six tents not far from my wild camp. Margo and Reindert had already left — I learned they get up around five to set off early, as they walk slowly and like to take a nap around ten. I left around 7am, a little more civilised, and thankfully before the rain.

Today was the much‑anticipated Kidsty Pike, the highest point on the Coast to Coast. Very exciting… in theory. In reality, I couldn’t see a single thing. Mist, rain, and a wind that felt determined to shove me off the ridge. I think I spotted two red deer exactly where my Steadman guidebook said they’d be, but in the gloom they could just as easily have been very tall sheep — their heads were higher than the wall.

Song of the day was Springsteen’s: “Can’t see nothing in front of me, can’t see nothing coming up behind…” which felt painfully accurate.

Top of Kidsty Pike

After Kidsty Pike (whatever it looked like), the view slowly began to clear until Haweswater stretched out in front of me. I stopped by a picturesque little bridge to fill my filter bottle (still not sick), then set off along the lake. This section felt like it never ended — bracken, overgrown paths, endless shoreline.

Eventually, when the dam finally came into sight and I felt like I was at the end, I found an honesty box. My first of the walk. I was ridiculously excited. I’d remembered to bring change and bought a flapjack, inhaling it in about two minutes. And wouldn’t you know it — like buses — a second honesty box full of cake - this time offering ginger cake with cream cheese icing. Who could resist? I'm glad I brought lots of change.

Approaching Shap Abbey

I’d been looking forward to seeing Shap Abbey, and it didn’t disappoint. Gorgeously serene and majestic, even in ruin. I left Mini-me and wandered around, though I was feeling a little rough — probably too much sugar — and my pack was annoying me. I just couldn’t get it to sit right; clearly I hadn’t packed it as diligently as I should have.

Sitting in the ruins reminded me of Strata Florida Abbey in Ceredigion. Both founded in the late 1100s by Cistercian monks — hardworking, self‑sufficient types who farmed the land around them. Both gothic in style, and both suppressed by Henry VIII in the 16th century and left to fall into abandonment and disrepair.

Finally, I mustered the energy to continue to my final destination: Shap. I’d read on Facebook to avoid staying here as it was noisy. Well — like Shap Abbey — it didn’t disappoint. I walked through the pub doors straight into a full‑on Yorkshire christening party for one‑year‑old Noah. I felt totally out of place: scruffy, probably smelly (I’d got used to it), and laden with Mini‑me. A couple of old blokes made space for me at the bar and immediately started grilling me on what on earth I was doing.

It was a typical Brit pub scene: women in fancy and slightly inappropriate dresses (especially for a christening), blokes looking like Thomas Shelby, lots of swearing, a couple outside clearly having had a row — her crying, him doing a terrible job of apologising — kids running around, climbing on the pool table, and everyone three sheets to the wind. All we needed was karaoke and a bar fight and the picture would have been complete.

Do you think anyone would notice if I helped myself to the buffet? It looked like the buffet was over, but the table was still groaning under the food — a proper Yorkshire spread.

I set up my tent in the field, glad to be out of the chaos, and was pleasantly surprised by the wonderful shower block in the corner and the free‑roaming chickens. I ate at the Shap Chippy — awesome — and later Margo and Reindert joined me in the pub. The last of the die‑hard christening party‑goers were still swaying and slurring — not Noah, thankfully.

Strava says: 23.3 km of walking, 806 m of elevation, 6 hours 21 minutes. Mandy says: I am tired today.

View in the morning - Priceless

I heard from a fellow hiker the next morning that she’d stayed in one of the pub rooms and barely slept — the party went on into the early hours with karaoke and Sweet Caroline. being one of the favourites. I didn’t hear a thing in the garden. Night night.

Strava Stats (with imperial conversions)

• Distance: 23.3 km (14.48 miles)

• Elevation gain: 806 m (2,644 ft)

• Total time: 6 hours 21 minutes